eyes speak....

In the mist of the night,

Two lovers walk along the beach.

As they continue to walk,

The sand caresses their feet.

It's just the two of them,

Spending an enchanting evening in each other's arms.

Hoping to never let go -

of the perpetual love they share.

As the sweet whispers of the waves,

Send shivers up their spines...

The ocean remains persistent -

up-and-down, up-and-down.

As they apotheosize the beautiful horizon,

They exchange passionate kisses.

It is then that the ceaseless affection proliferates -

amidst the two souls like never before...

Like the rising tide, beating hearts grow but never die.

Flirting – A personal perception on female flirts

Flirting – A personal perception on female flirts

Introduction

It has been a long time I wanted to write about this aspect of the female gender no harm intended... Just writing my thoughts while thinking I want to categorically think of them in the following manner …

1. Charming snakes; the natural flirts

2. Females who flirt with married/committed men

3. Intentional flirts at workplace

4. Committed ones who flirt

The idea is about writing the whole thing in different episodes or series or version I am writing the version 1.0 here which is about the first ones (charming snakes) here and will continue the other categories later ..

Charming Snakes

For nomenclature let’s call the guy as “Aman” the lady as ‘Ritika`...

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the case of the chronic flirt. That's right, Ritika 's merciless, ruthless and out to get your heart. Funny thing is, all guys fall for Ritika and her deceiving trap. Let me explain the scenario further. This is what happens: a woman meets a man, charms him with friendly eyes and seduces him with conversation. He hangs around her, calls her, and they go out every so often; there would be no reason for him not to make an effort with her, since he has been given every indication that his woman friend is indeed interested in Aman.

Days go by... Weeks going on the happy couple have gone out more than six times, only there hasn't been any sexual contact just yet. Then, Aman, thinking that all he needs to secure this relationship and make it something more serious is to verbally announce that the two are, in fact, an item, an item on display to the world.

They are out on a date; Aman tells Ritika how he feels before the wine arrives. And how does she respond to his heartfelt confession? Shock. She's actually shocked that he suspected there was something going on between them. But wait, that's not even the best part of this twisted anecdote when he finally stops calling her, and starts showing interest in other women, guess who starts doing the calling? Yes, you guessed it. Our lady friend starts calling him practically every night after that, lest he actually loses interest in her. We've all heard of playing hard to get, but this is ridiculous! Now lets analyze why and what happened.. The lady was actually doing this for some reasons..;

1. Lack of self confidence

One reason is insecurity. It usually seems to boil down to a lack of self-confidence, the same reason for which women fall for jerks. For women (and I'm sure men, when the case is backwards), having men around chasing and pursuing them is enjoyable, to say the least, and is considered "backup."

2. Added appeal

Having male admirers is also an accessory. There's something appealing about a man or woman who has a group of "fans." When it becomes known that someone has a slew of admirers, it adds to the appeal of the person in question. Women use this as a way to attract other men, the other men they really want, and keep their groupies as ammunition, for when necessary. Even though she may not be attracted to him and would not date him under any circumstances, he becomes more attractive once he no longer makes the woman the center of his world.

3. Challenge

In a twisted way, flirting and having men fall for women is almost a game; a challenge that women like to play with themselves. They'll flirt to see if "they've still got it," regardless of whether or not they are interested in the guy in question.

Once the men they flirt with do fall for them and their little ploy, these women practically give themselves another point on the scoreboard hanging in their walk-in closet. After that, they chuck him with their Chinese take-out.

Females who flirt with married/committed men

Women have this whole stuff about “wanting something you know you can’t have” or getting the one u can’t achieve or seeing it in the reverse way what t If I achieve what is impossible.

I think a lot of it has to do with wanting something you know you cant have. Some women like to flirt with a married man because they know nothing will come of it and it's just fun for them. Other women, on the other hand, like the idea of teasing a married man. Either way, you could be more confident now than you were in your single years and confidence just radiates from a person if they have a lot of it. Women love a confident man. If you are older than 25 or 30 chances are, women of these ages are beginning to wonder if there are any good men left and when they see one that interests them, they can’t help themselves.

I've known women that wouldn't give a man the time of day unless he had a gold band on his ring finger. Just be flattered that women are flirting with you. The awesome thing about that is, the more they flirt, the more confidence you exude. Some single women say they date committed men because it's easy and that they're not looking for a commitment at the time. Ok so, if you're not looking for a commitment then why someone who is supposed to be committed for life? Why not a single guy? How easy can it be to be in a relationship with a committed man? There is no way that you can just say it's only something to do from time to time. Feelings have to be factored into the equations somehow, because you didn't like him because he was easy. It was something about that man that drew you to him in the first place. Time to time involves a lot of things such as trying to get together to see one another. Granted you may be very busy or not, but trying to see someone who's married can be very difficult either way. If you are free for the day and just need to spend time with him, you have to see if he is available. After you find out if he is or not then you have to try and work around his schedule. Sounds like a lot of work for someone who wants to see someone from time to time. Once you both have figured out what his schedule is and when it is that you can see him the next move is how long you can see him.

Now this is something I really think its one sided opinion but what I really know for sure is a women loves challenges and thinks if she can grab one who is already committed and then t becomes a fight of power and individuality. And as they say she always wins whether she is committed one or the to-be committed one.

Intentional flirts at workplace

Hey we are not talking about “SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE” we are talking about harmless (???) flirts here. Just a question arose in my mind is flirt harmless??? Now that is a question I will ask myself later

Whether they like it or not, we have to accept, once and for all, that women are marching up the corporate ladder confidently and with full speed ahead. Women used to be much more "quiet and passive" in the workplace due to the relatively small number of female employees in comparison to males. Women today, on the other hand, have begun assuming their positions by using all their God given powers of intelligence and organization. Logically speaking, though, even if a minute amount of women batted their eyelashes, wore nice perfume and subjective outfits to get to the top; wouldn't they still need to be clever enough to hold those high positions? Nice question … I disagree I know so many of the women who somehow always manage by batting their eyelashes and a smile to get their job done.

A study says

“It is a common misconception that many professional females got into positions of power by utilizing their flirting skills, and their sexuality to their advantage. Now although some women in certain circumstances have used "their assets" to get what they want, the majority of women have worked hard and stared adversity straight in the face to achieve their desired success.”

As a type of defense mechanism, women have developed dual personas; one for the home and one for the workplace. Assuming a flirtatious and bubbly character at work results in wider acceptance among male workers. This characteristic is independent of age and fairly present in today's male-oriented world.

I know a lot of you would disagree with this but, remember that they may use their femininity simply to have an opportunity to prove them and show off their professional skills in the long run. Making eye contact and wearing revealing attire is simply a means to an end for some females now this is also true it’s all about keeping the balance of flirts and gracefulness, once u are tagged as “flirt” the story is over..

Though in my experience so far I have seen serious committed ladies at work who are just interested in doing their work and nothing else and I have seen the ones who would do everything except their … designated work. So I think a mix and match or everything is there a curry is combination of so many spices so is the women flock. Just adding a nice advertisement I saw the other day to conclude. Contently you will find majority of the working women wearing something like this in your office. Adding the description as humor no pun intended.

Name:

Women's Plus Classic Rise Wide Leg - "The Flirt" Trouser Jeans

Description:

It's hard to resist a flirt! She isn't afraid to take a risk in pursuit of fun and fashion. Show your true colors in these dynamic denim trousers, featuring fabulous new washes or chic pinstripes. Slant pockets and a button-flap... See more » It's hard to resist a flirt! She isn't afraid to take a risk in pursuit of fun and fashion. Show your true colors in these dynamic denim trousers, featuring fabulous new washes or chic pinstripes. Slant pockets and a button-flap coin pocket in front, welt pockets in back and wide leg openings create a tailored sophistication that's sure to set trends. Women's Plus Classic Rise Wide Leg - "The Flirt" Trouser Jeans

Committed ones who flirt

Let’s use nomenclature again say the lady in question is “Ritika”... now that is name...

1. Ritika not getting any love and affection at home.

2. Ritika husband does give her lots of love and affection, but she just doesn't dig the guy anymore. For some reason she's just trying to find out whether she's still got market value -- in other words, she needs to see if guys are still interested in her.

3. As a passive-aggressive way of getting even with the husband. She may have felt rejected sexually and emotionally, so the flirting can be a message to her husband to shape up or risk losing the marriage.

4. An attempt to get the husband's attention

5. To meet emotional needs such as feeling liked, being popular, or being thought of as funny, entertaining, attractive, or sexy

Because guys, there's another type of woman who still has high Interest Level in her husband but when she sees a man she likes, she will flirt with him. And these are the women who tend to dress like sex kittens even after they're married, because they want other guys watching them. Not that they want to get intimate or romantic with another guy, but they need the strokes. Or she is just a flirt or may be is trying not to loose with the non-committed ladies in the office in the corporate race.

Remember guys; don't go blowing things out of proportion just take light … I am sure you understand the context…

So guys don’t fall in this trap even when she is saying all the nice thing believe me u have a competitor with an edge so beware..

I call that flirting with disaster. People get shot over this crap. Open marriage or not, I believe in one partner at a time. No offense to those who have "open relationships". Whatever turns your eccentric? If I see a woman, especially one I’ve just met and know she's married, that’s all the information I need. This isn’t the jungle where the biggest and strongest ape gets the girl no matter what her status is. Now that’s a personal opinion.. Take care and Take light.

I AM MYSELF AGAIN

A lone intruder lurks along the paths.
He has many forms; all masked
under the costume of negative belief-
his intention and purpose to flush out
any weakness in the institution.

Each event brings its many interpretations.
Repeated patterns – opportunities for study.
Could the path be altered by a change in view?
Or, could I repeat the pattern
and continue down the path before me?

Closets filled with accumulations of a lifetime
need to be sorted, organized and the junk toss aside.
At first, the closets sparse filled with a few items.
Ones inherited and passed down through the generations,
many priceless and carefully stored.
A few tossed in without thought of the consequences.

Decisions, made during a lifetime, add to the clutter.
A key to the sorting and organizing
is thoughtful contemplation.
The next generation can now start out
with priceless treasures and just a few junky pieces.
Pieces missed during the process of shedding the clutter
accumulated during a lifetime of living.

A lone intruder lurks along the paths.
His eyes search the terrain
identifying weaknesses in the foundation.
He skillfully loads his weapon with negative thoughts,
and zeros in on his target.

Stealing the moments,
Trusting what we're told is right,
Unprepared for life, we have become synchronized.
Xeroxed life and death.

Relationship –I

It’s another day … business as usual! Petty backbiting, mocking, all kinds of verbal barb and arrows. Well, if that brings them a little contentment in life...everyone to their own taste!

But seriously, what makes them do it? Can they really be contented that way? More pointedly, how could a couple that had reached such great heights slip back overnight?

It all boils down to a critical three-letter word.

We call it the sense of self or EGO,

I will freely admit that my Ego has led me astray more times than I can count. Each time I've faced my Ego directly, however, I've been able to put it in its place, although over the years it has changed shape.

Is the self really so bad? Not always. If by "ego" we mean "self-esteem", it's indispensable. Many people say that we can't start to love others until we love ourselves first. That's perfectly true - IF we're talking about the right kind of self-love.

But if my Ego means my needs, my honor, my sensitivities, always come first (and probably middle and last), boy, we're playing with fire!

Sure, Alpha loves Beta, and Beta loves Alpha. Always did, always will. If one would disappear from the other's life, he or she would know all about it!

The problem, not surprisingly, is that constantly demanding companion, Ego, although, it would have us believe that any problems are caused by the other person's ego. It encourages us to think, "I wouldn't feel so defensive and so misunderstood if he were just willing to see his blind spots, or if she were just willing to admit my point of view is valid." Our Ego doesn't encourage us to say, "Maybe we could have solved this disagreement if only I were more open to seeing my blind spots, or only if I could admit that the other person has a valid point."

The Ego is only doing its job, of course, which is to give us a sense of self and protect us from pain. It has decided that we can only feel good about ourselves if we think we are right. It has also decided that it's much less painful to see other people as defensive than it is to examine what we might have done that caused them to feel that way. It is easier to claim that someone doesn't understand us than it is to examine what we might have said that contributed to any misunderstanding. After all, we assume we have perfectly logical reasons for our opinions. We fail to understand that the other person might have equally good reasons for believing otherwise.

It may be difficult to admit we aren't as open to learning as we could be. But when we're willing to set aside the assumption that the other person is automatically wrong, we are more pertinent to reach a finale that is satisfying to both of us.

Test

The Sequel...

The five needs of Interpersonal Love

...The first need of every person is to spend time - quality time...

... I need to know how you feel about me...

...From where does trust originate...

.. Solitary individuals do not need trust...

... People who choose to trust tend to be happier, better liked by others, and more ethical than less trusting people....

I'm not by nature a possessive individual, so the ground rules were laid early on that we were free to hang out with whomever we wanted to. However, I made it clear, though free to make our own choices; we would live with the consequences of our choices. Initially, this was not an issue, as we spent every waking moment with each other. However six months into our relationship, my career landed me in another city, and we found ourselves in a long distance relationship. My drive to climb the corporate ladder occupied most of my time, so a social life was never a consideration for me (which worked well for her given her possessive and jealous nature).

Reciprocation of reciprocation?

Love is a feeling. A more specific delineation of that feeling cannot be given so simply & easily. Love is not desire -- love is a feeling that can be expressed and can include the experience of fulfillment. In love, the thoughts, feelings, actions and opinions of the beloved matter. There is a focus of interest, attention & caring on another person and their words & actions impact our emotions. Loving is a deeply involving process which can entail profound emotional interactions with the beloved. The ego is very much involved in romantic love. Lack of self-worth may turn love into an unexpressed secret when there is fear of possible non-reciprocation. Loving another person can make us intensely sensitive to the regard with which we are held in the eyes of our beloved. When love is expressed but love (or respect) is not reciprocated -- or not reciprocated enough -- it is the ego that hurts. When the beloved forgets about us in plans & actions -- or is otherwise insensitive -- it is the ego that hurts. This is the awful truth that so often turns "love" into hate -- the extreme bitterness & vengefulness of love spurned. Even when love does not turn to hate, the sadness & hurt of the one whose love has not been returned is a suffering of the ego -- a wounding of pride. Those who most easily turn love into hate are those most at the mercy of their own ego. Jealousy arises from fear of competition. One has reason to fear competition because of lack of self-worth and/or because of lack of trust for one's beloved. If one suspects that one's lover will find more love in another when given the right opportunity the incentive will be high to reduce such opportunity. This has the unfortunate consequence of turning a lover into a police officer of the heart -- attempting to control the behavior of one's lover at all times. Ironically, such policing efforts are most likely to succeed when they are the least required. The more devoted the lover of the jealous partner, the greater the willingness to allay fears and to conform to dictates.


Lets get into more specifics of Love.. The way we usually use it Interpersonal Love . .. . . .

In ordinary use, love usually refers to interpersonal love.

Interpersonal love is love between human beings, and is more sympathetic than the notion of very much liking for another. Although feelings are usually reciprocal, there can also be unrequited love. Interpersonal love is usually found in an interpersonal relationship, such as between family members, friends, and couples. However, people often express love for other people outside of these relationships through compassionate outreach and volunteering.

Some elements that are often present in interpersonal love²:

· Affection: appreciation of other

· Attachment: satisfying basic emotional needs

· Reciprocation: if love is mutual

· Commitment: a desire to maintain love

· Emotional intimacy: sharing emotions and feelings

· Kinship: family bonds

· Passion: sexual desire

· Physical intimacy: sharing of personal space

· Self-interest: desiring rewards

· Service: desire to help

Love is not always requited. The declaration solicits a symmetry, but in a necessarily asymmetrical manner. One does not declare love via "we love each other"; this can only be said after the exchange of "I love you"'s. Thus the possibility of the declaration that solicits its reciprocation--and risks its denial--is also the possibility of its deferral. This is the stuff of romance narratives. Fearing rejection, one waits for confirming indices, or for a declaration from the other. When the pair finally exchanges declarations of love, the story is at an end. Or do we say the story has just started...